Saturday, August 04, 2012

Sweet Saturday Samples - August 4, 2012

Welcome to Sweet Saturday Samples. I've received comments and critiques back from my beta readers, and have begun the final rewriting on Spinster's Folly. Here's a scene I've changed to reflect a new wrench I've thrown into the cogs. I hope you enjoy it.
 ~~~

The tread of men's boots in the kitchen made Marie's stomach quake. The time of reckoning had come.

Even Rulon's recent exhortation couldn't make Marie raise her head to seek out Tom Morgan's eyes as the men folk trooped into the room.

"Make yourself comfortable, Rod," Mr. Morgan said. Marie heard Pa sit down, but Mr. Morgan remained on his feet. "Mrs. Morgan, our neighbor has a proposition," he said.

Marie wanted to flee. She bent forward to place the rattling cup and saucer on a table that was barely within her reach, as she didn't want to dump the tea onto the floor. Where was Tom? Had he accompanied the two men into the parlor? A hand clasped her shoulder and she jumped.

"Steady," came a whisper.

Rulon.

"Chin up."

She tried, but couldn't achieve the task.

"You girls go sweep out the kitchen and wash up the dishes," Mr. Morgan continued.

Marie heard the footfalls as Louisa and Melissa scurried out of the room without a word.

"Rod Owen thinks it's time Tom took a wife."

Marie inhaled so violently that she squeaked, but the sound was masked by Mrs. Morgan blurting, "Oh my! That's a bit . . . sudden."

"I understand he's twenty years of age," Pa said. "It's high time he got hitched in double harness."

"He's proposing that Tom ask Miss Marie for her hand," Mr. Morgan said.

When Mrs. Morgan made no response, and no one else ventured to speak, Marie felt as though she could not breathe. The silence continued, except for inhalations. Exhalations. All but hers.

When she could not bear to hear the breathing of those in the room while she suffocated, Marie glanced up at last. Tom leaned against the wall, his arms folded, staring at her. His frown was an arrow to Marie's heart.

"He's only a boy," Mrs. Morgan said, at last.

"He's old enough," Ed Morgan answered. "What do you say to that, Thomas?"

"I ain't got a choice?" Tom asked in a clipped tone, glancing at Mr. Morgan.

Marie looked at the man, and seeing his pursed lips, looked back at Tom.

He turned a stony glare in her direction. "It appears to be decided," he said. Ice dripped from his voice. "We're to make a couple, Marie."

Marie's heart sank. He'd left off the customary "Miss," as though he spoke to an inferior soul. He won't love me, she thought, panic filling her chest. He'll never love me. She wanted to melt down into the horsehair seat cover. She wanted to scream, Rulon, take me home and hide me away.

Pa said, "Good. We'll make plans, then. How about . . ."

Marie shut her eyes and sucked in a burning lungful of air as others in the room took control of her future.
~~~

Thank you for visiting. Come back every Saturday for more samples. Now, use this list to go to other blogs for more Sweet Saturday Samples. I know the authors enjoy comments as much as I do, so don't be shy.

Copyright 2012 Marsha Ward

15 comments:

  1. This is a super twist. That poor girl.

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    1. A caution that when you get what you wish for, it may be a frog instead of a prince. :( Thanks for visiting, Elaine!

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    2. Oh my. You certainly have left with a cliff hanger. Can't wait to see what happens.
      Mary Hagen

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    3. Thanks, Mary. Spinster's Folly will be out soon. I just gotta finish the rewrite and get the formatting done and the back cover copy solidified. :-) I love self-publishing!

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  2. I feel so sorry for her, having her life taken out of her hands. So typical for the period, too. Will she fight back some way, I wonder? Wonderful sample!

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    1. Thanks for coming by and commenting, Jenna! There are twists yet to come.

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  3. That's horrible to treat her like a piece of stock

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    1. Yeah, he really doesn't care if he hurts her feelings or not. Thanks for coming over, Lindsay!

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  4. Oh, I would hate being handed off like a piece of property! Thanks for sharing...and for visiting my sample.

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    1. It's a horrible situation, Laurel. Marie is not a happy girl right now. Thanks for commenting!

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  5. Ahhhh so sad! I would have hated living in that time period for that reason. What a great excerpt!

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    1. Thank you, Britney! I appreciate you coming by. Life was harsh back then, but there were joys to be found, as in every era. By the end of this novel, that's evident (but it's a long, anxious road from the beginning to the end!).

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  6. Ah, the 'good' ol' days - when men were men and the women were chattel....

    Great writing, Marsha!

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    1. Thanks, Cathy. I appreciate your visit. Every era has its pluses and minuses, but this was a definite minus!

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  7. Glad it's not my days. Makes for interesting stories however. Good job.

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I welcome your comments.

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